What Would You Need to Release to Move Toward What's Next?

 

September 8, 2026 Regenerate Your World  Build the future you want to live in. I know these times aren't the easiest for all of us, but I am an optimist - I see the glass as refillable instead of half-full or half-empty. To brighten up your days, I publish the Regenerate Your World newsletter coming to your inbox on a bi-weekly basis. Let's Get Empowered!

What Would You Need to Release to Move Toward What's Next? Photo from a bike ride over the summer. We biked along the shores of Lake Superior. Dear Empowered Reader, Our summer travel officially ended this week. Chuck and I got back, and the last stretch of any trip always has the same ritual: unpacking the car and sorting everything into two piles. What comes back into regular rotation. What goes into storage until next summer. It sounds simple. It never is. There's a camp chair with a broken zipper pocket I kept meaning to fix over the summer. A cooler we don't strictly need, we've got a better one at home, that I still couldn't quite talk myself into replacing, because it's the one that's always come along on our summer trips. That's the part that gets me every year, trip after trip. It's not that the chair is particularly special or that the cooler is better than others. It's that we've already grown attached to them. And somehow that alone makes them harder to let go of than their actual worth would justify. There's a famous set of studies behind that feeling, and it has nothing to do with camp chairs. Economists Daniel Kahneman, Jack Knetsch, and Richard Thaler ran an experiment in the late 1980s where they handed half a room a coffee mug and asked what they'd sell it for. The other half, empty-handed, were asked what they'd pay for the same mug. Classical economics says those two numbers should land close together; a mug is a mug. They didn't. The people holding the mug wanted roughly twice as much to give it up as the people without one were willing to pay to get it. They called it the endowment effect: the moment something becomes ours a possession, a role, a way of doing things, a version of ourselves- we attach a value to it that has almost nothing to do with what it's actually worth to us going forward. It sits on top of an older finding from Kahneman's work with Amos Tversky: losses simply weigh more than equivalent gains. Giving something up feels like more than the thing is worth, purely because giving it up is what's on the table. I think about this constantly in my work with leaders moving through change. A title, a way a team has always operated, a program someone built from scratch five years ago- none of it gets evaluated on its current usefulness. It gets defended because it's theirs. Not because it's still serving them. What the endowment effect doesn't fully explain, though: why does releasing something we chose to release still feel like a loss? Family therapist Pauline Boss spent her career studying what she called ambiguous loss (thanks to a friend for introducing me to her): grief with no clear ending, the kind that shows up when someone is physically present but psychologically gone, or physically gone with no resolution. She developed the concept working with families of the missing and families living with dementia. But the framework has become one of the most useful lenses for something much more common: the grief embedded in ordinary transitions we actually wanted. When you leave a role, a version of yourself doesn't die cleanly. It doesn't get a funeral. It just becomes unreachable, still vivid in memory, no longer available to you. That's ambiguous loss. There's no ritual for grieving a job you were glad to leave, an identity you outgrew on purpose, a relationship that changed shape instead of ending outright. So the grief goes unnamed, and unnamed grief tends to show up sideways, as second-guessing, as nostalgia you can't explain, as a strange heaviness on a day that should feel like relief. Our trusty red cooler has traveled many miles..... Chosen change is still change. And change, even the kind you're proud of, involves mourning something real. This is exactly the terrain of "letting go", the second stage in the Mountain 10 process. It's also the stage almost every team I work with tries to skip. Leaders want to move straight from awareness to vision, straight from "we need to change" to "here's the new structure," without ever naming what's actually being given up. But the endowment effect doesn't disappear because you didn't name it. It just makes the new structure harder to fully occupy, because part of the team is still quietly holding the old one. Naming what's being released, out loud, specifically, is often what makes room for the next thing to actually take hold. Not skipping past the loss. Moving through it on purpose. Just like a sunset bridges day into night, so do the September days bridge summer into fall. Affirmation "I can grieve what I'm releasing and still be certain I'm releasing it for good reason. Both things are true at once." A Seasonal Practice Take inventory before you release. Before letting go of a role, belief, or way of operating, name specifically what it gave you, not just what's wrong with it. You can't release something honestly until you've named its real value, endowment effect and all. Separate the object from the ownership. Ask: is this still useful to me, or am I only holding onto it because it's already mine? The camp chair test works on roles and routines too. Let the grief be small and real. You don't need a full ritual for every loss. A sentence is enough: "I'm letting go of X, and part of me will miss it." Naming it costs you less than carrying it unnamed. Notice what's asking to loosen. Not everything needs to go. Some things just need a looser grip, a belief you can hold more lightly, a role you can occupy differently instead of abandoning. Reflection Questions What are you holding onto right now mostly because it's already yours, not because it's still serving you? Where have you skipped the grief in a change you know was right? If you let yourself mourn it for one sentence, what would that sentence say? Until next time, release what's ready, grieve what's real, and let fall find you a little lighter than summer did. Julie Sources: Kahneman, D., Knetsch, J.L., & Thaler, R.H., "Experimental Tests of the Endowment Effect and the Coase Theorem," Journal of Political Economy, 1990; Kahneman, D. & Tversky, A., "Prospect Theory: An Analysis of Decision under Risk," Econometrica, 1979; Boss, P., Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief (1999) and Loss, Trauma, and Resilience (2006). Was this newsletter forwarded to you? Click here to get your own subscription. The Quiet Kind of Brave We do not roar, we do not shout When grief becomes our guest. We simply wake and take a breath With sorrow in our chest. The quiet kind of brave it is— To smile with trembling lips, To hold the coffee, feed the cat, With hands that shake and slip. And yet we do it, day by day,..... Read the rest at, https://trustedmemorialplanners.com/post/inspirational-poems-about-grief

In the Media Where can you find EMPOWER Possible? In addition to posting on my own social media, I collaborate with other entrepreneurs.  Thank you, Voyager Minnesota, for your article, https://voyageminnesota.com/interview/story-lesson-highlights-with-julie-zaruba-fountaine-of-metro-area-highlight/ Upcoming Events Leading Change When Nobody is Looking When: September 17, 2026  Where: St. Paul, MN What: Panelists will share real stories about leading through uncertainty, influencing without formal authority, working with limited resources, and helping people move forward when conditions are far from perfect. Attendees will leave with practical ideas for building momentum before buy-in exists, creating progress amid constraints, and sustaining change when the path forward is still taking shape. Discover more by clicking here. Luminary Conference Presentation When: September 25, 2026 Where: Rochester, MN  What: I am thrilled to be taking the stage at the upcoming Luminary Conference! I will be sharing actionable frameworks on sustainable leadership, thriving through large-scale organizational transitions, and shifting workplace cultures from a state of survival and overwhelm into a space of abundance and clarity. To learn more, click here. Wisdom of Winter Retreat When: February 25 to 28 2027 Where: True North Resort, Nisswa, MN What: In partnership with Art of Presence and Taylor and Co., Empower Possible is hosting a winter retreat. Surrounded by peaceful lake views, snow-covered forests, and the quiet beauty of winter, this retreat is designed to help you slow down, reconnect, and restore. Come as you are. Leave feeling rested, grounded, and renewed. Learn more: https://taylorandcoapothecary.com/2027-nisswa-retreat/  Mountain 10 Workshops What is Mountain 10?  During this three-hour workshop, we will focus on accessing your inner wisdom to bring about the changes you deeply desire in your life. We will use the Mountain 10 process, a proven, new technology for deep reflection on human change. It is based on the conviction that every person has the most important answers about direction, purpose, and calling within them. For a Mountain 10 experience, join the Wisdom of Winter Retreat. Can't make it to the Wisdom of Winter Retreat? Join the waitlist. Click HERE Please reach out if you have any questions: info@empowerpossible.com

Connect with me on social media! Copyright © EMPOWER Possible  Northfield, United States EMPOWER Possible is dedicated to empowering individuals, organizations, and communities to organize and act together to regenerate our world through Self, Social, and Systems transformation.  info@empowerpossible.com \ Website \ Mission You are receiving this email because you expressed an interest in my work—thank you! You can change your email preferences or unsubscribe at any time.  Disclaimer: This newsletter contains content that has been modified and inspired by ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI. While we use ChatGPT to enhance our content, it should not be considered professional advice. For specific concerns or decisions, please consult with a qualified professional or trusted source. The newsletter authors are not responsible for any actions taken based on the information provided by or inspired by ChatGPT.

We Can't Do This Alone

July 27, 2026 Regenerate Your World  Build the future you want to live in. I know these times aren't the easiest for all of us, but I am an optimist - I see the glass as refillable instead of half-full or half-empty. To brighten up your days, I publish the Regenerate Your World newsletter coming to your inbox on a bi-weekly basis. Let's Get Empowered! We Can't Do This Alone The retreat that came out of building something with others, not alone. Dear Empowered Reader, I've built my whole framework around three levels of change: Self, Social, Systems. I write about it. I teach it. I put it on slides. And then this spring, I once again was living it. For the past several months, I've been sitting around tables, real ones, virtual ones, sometimes just emails back and forth with three women I now call my co-conspirators. Rachel Gilbertson of Art of Presence. Taylor Tix and Cris Bickman Otte of Taylor & Co. Together we've been building the Wisdom of Winter retreat, happening February 25–28, 2027, at True North Resort in Nisswa, Minnesota. Here's what nobody tells you about building something meaningful with other people: it is not tidy. We've dived into tough conversations about budgets. We've each brought our own definition of "enough" to the table and had to find where those definitions overlap. We've shown up to calls tired, unsure, second-guessing our own ideas out loud in front of each other. That's the Social work. That's the part of the E.M.P.O.W.E.R. model I haven’t talked about in a while because it's the part that asks the most of me personally. I could have designed a retreat by myself. I've done that before. It's efficient. It's controllable. It's also lonely, and it caps out at whatever one person's imagination can hold. Instead, Rachel, Taylor, Cris and I found each other through a series of inspired actions (shout out to Rachel for teaching me the phrase!). And what we're creating together is bigger and truer than anything I would have built alone. Rachel Gilbertson, Art of Presence — Rachel has spent nearly two decades helping people trust their own intuition instead of outsourcing their answers to everyone else. She's a National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach and a mindfulness facilitator, and she'll be co-facilitating the Mountain 10 process with me during the retreat, helping guests access their own inner wisdom rather than handing them someone else's script. Taylor Tix and Cris Bickman Otte, Taylor & Co — Taylor is a registered nurse and Reiki Master who turned profound personal loss into a wellness practice built on coming home to yourself. Her mother and business partner, Cris, brings 30-plus years in patient care and movement instruction, and will be guiding yoga and Centergy sessions throughout the weekend.  Together we hold the Systems piece, the logistics, the lodging, the meals, the structure. None of us are doing our own solo version of this retreat. We're doing one retreat, together, and it's better for it. That's the whole point of Social change, isn't it? It was never meant to be a nice-to-have. It's the thing that keeps Self-work from turning into isolation, and keeps Systems-work from turning into a machine nobody actually wants to be part of. Curious about the retreat? Here is more information Wisdom of Winter Retreat When: February 25–28, 2027  Where: True North Resort, Nisswa, Minnesota What: A restorative winter retreat for women, built in partnership with Rachel Gilbertson of Art of Presence and Taylor Tix & Cris Bickman Otte of Taylor & Co. Three nights of lakeside lodging, sauna and hot tub access, nourishing meals, daily guided practices, and the Mountain 10 process to help you access your own inner wisdom before you step into your next season. No packed itinerary. No rigid resolutions. Just space to slow down, reconnect, and be held by people who've done their own work to hold you. Learn more and reserve your spot → AFFIRMATION "I do not have to build alone. Asking for support is not a failure of capability; it is an act of wisdom. I trust the people I've invited into this work, and I trust myself enough to be seen by them, budgets, doubts, and all." True North Resort. Where we are hosting the retreat. PRACTICES FOR THIS SEASON Name your table. Who are the people you're building something with right now, even informally? Have you actually named them as collaborators, or are you still quietly carrying the load solo? Say the uncomfortable number out loud. Pick one conversation you've been avoiding because it involves money, capacity, or a boundary. This week, say the actual number or the actual limit, instead of the softened version. Thank a co-conspirator. Send one message this week to someone who's building alongside you. Not a task update — an actual thank-you for being in it with you. REFLECTION QUESTIONS For your journal, your walk, your quiet morning Where in your life are you doing Systems or Self work but skipping the Social layer entirely? Who would you invite to the table if you let go of needing to have it all figured out first? What would it feel like to let someone see the messy, unfinished, budget-arguing version of your work not just the polished version? More in two weeks. Take care, dear reader, Julie Was this newsletter forwarded to you? Click here to get your own subscription. All My Relations by Dr. Gary Boelhower Let us step quietly over boundaries we have created to divide us the imaginary borders on our maps lot lines plat lines zoning codes. Let us choose to forget the long litany of exclusion nations states colors genders tribes species........ Read the rest at https://www.orchpress.com/index.php/en/new-publications2-2/133-step-close-in-by-gary-boelhower Upcoming Events Luminary Conference Presentation When: September 2026 What: I am thrilled to be taking the stage at the upcoming Luminary Conference! I will be sharing actionable frameworks on sustainable leadership, thriving through large-scale organizational transitions, and shifting workplace cultures from a state of survival and overwhelm into a space of abundance and clarity. To learn more, click here. Wisdom of Winter Retreat When: February 25 to 28 2027 Where: True North Resort, Nisswa, MN What: In partnership with Art of Presence and Taylor and Co., Empower Possible is hosting a winter retreat. Surrounded by peaceful lake views, snow-covered forests, and the quiet beauty of winter, this retreat is designed to help you slow down, reconnect, and restore. Come as you are. Leave feeling rested, grounded, and renewed. Learn more: https://taylorandcoapothecary.com/2027-nisswa-retreat/  Mountain 10 Workshops What is Mountain 10?  During this three-hour workshop, we will focus on accessing your inner wisdom to bring about the changes you deeply desire in your life. We will use the Mountain 10 process, a proven, new technology for deep reflection on human change. It is based on the conviction that every person has the most important answers about direction, purpose, and calling within them. For a Mountain 10 experience join the Wisdom of Winter Retreat. Can't make it to the Wisdom of Winter retreat? Join the waitlist. Click HERE Please reach out if you have any questions: info@empowerpossible.com Connect with me on social media! Copyright © EMPOWER Possible  Northfield, United States EMPOWER Possible is dedicated to empowering individuals, organizations, and communities to organize and act together to regenerate our world through Self, Social, and Systems transformation.  info@empowerpossible.com \ Website \ Mission You are receiving this email because you expressed an interest in my work—thank you! You can change your email preferences or unsubscribe at any time.  Disclaimer: This newsletter contains content that has been modified and inspired by ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI. While we use ChatGPT to enhance our content, it should not be considered professional advice. For specific concerns or decisions, please consult with a qualified professional or trusted source. The newsletter authors are not responsible for any actions taken based on the information provided by or inspired by ChatGPT. Edit preferences or Unsubscribe