Arete: The Pursuit of Happiness: What does happiness mean to you?

 

January 30, 2023 Regenerate Your World  Build the future you want to live in. I know these times aren't the easiest for all of us, but I am an optimist - I see the glass as half-full, instead of half-empty. To brighten up your days, I publish the Regenerate Your World newsletter coming to your inbox on a bi-weekly basis. Let's Get Empowered!

Arete: The Pursuit of Happiness Arete is a word the Greeks came up it carries with it one of the greatest pursuits of humankind. Arete means “to exist to your full potential”. In past newsletters - https://empowerpossible.blogspot.com/ , I mentioned my training in positive psychology. I have attended many workshops and lectures about the various aspects of positive psychology and in turn have led many workshops on the topic. According to founders of positive psychology, Seligman and Csikszentmihalyi positive psychology is "the scientific study of what makes life most worth living",  or  "the scientific study of positive human functioning and flourishing on multiple levels that include the biological, personal, relational, institutional, cultural, and global dimensions of life". There are always many lessons I learn each time I present a workshop. There is one lesson in particular that stands out to me related to this topic. After leading a workshop series one of the participants mentioned in the last week of a 10-week workshop that she was very skeptical of this topic. The name of the workshop was called Happy Hour and she felt happiness is frivolous. I asked her to say more and she shared that she felt “there are many more important things in life to focus on than happiness. Yes, happiness is nice but I don’t feel like I can waste my time focusing on my happiness I have more important things to do”. After she shared I had to take a breath because we had just spent an hour a week for 10 weeks discussing the importance of happiness in our lives and developing skills to incorporate the lessons we discussed. I was feeling like I failed. While thinking about her statement she continued, “but after attending this class I see now that happiness is more than a frivolous feeling it is an act. My happiness means more than I thought. If I am happy it means that I am more fulfilled, and I am a better mom and co-worker. It doesn’t mean that life is perfect or that I am ignoring my problems it means that I can address my problems without letting them consume me”. As soon as she shared these statements I was glad that I didn’t rush to defend myself and the course content. I realized she did a better job summarizing the material than I could. I saw others in the room begin to nod and they continued to share how their perception of happiness has changed. They realized happiness is a skill. When I begin the Happy Hour workshop I start by sharing the concept of Arete. The definition of happiness that is the foundation for the workshop is happiness is achieved by striving to reach your full potential. Happiness is not just a mood it is work and work is not the opposite of happiness. Authentic Happiness allows us to experience the full range of human emotions, happiness is engaging in meaningful activities that we enjoy That doesn’t mean life is not stressful or that we do not need to work hard is simply means happiness is more complex than a yellow smiley face. Studies show that people who view work as less of a “job,” which is a chore and takes away from their free time, and more as a “career” or “calling” are exponentially more likely to feel fulfilled. These same people also invest more time in their work and are usually more successful. Researchers suggest you rethink each of your daily tasks. If you are a health professional, for example, and paperwork usually drains your energy, consider the purpose of the task. If you think of it as documenting the progress of a patient and making it easier for other health professionals to step in later, then it becomes easier to view your actions as contributing to the greater good. Now that we are beginning a new year it could be a good time to reflect on the past year.  Below are a few questions that can help you reflect ( no need to overthink, just write down what comes to mind): What contributed to your happiness last year, what moments brought you happiness, and what themes do you notice (nature, travel, food, friends, family)?  What would I like to have more of in my life? Start by brainstorming, but then try to go very specific. What do I need less of in my life? Get specific. What beliefs around happiness do you currently have?  Do these beliefs help you reach your full potential?  What's one thing that really helps you when you are feeling down?  Consider what beliefs support you in reaching your full potential and what beliefs you may need to shift. You have this one life to live and I know that you can live a fulfilling and happy life I FEEL THAT IN MY ENTIRE BEING. How?  Ditch the belief systems that tell you you can’t. Look for representations of what is possible and stay aligned to *that* Consider your support system- are you a rule follower or breaker-how do you set yourself up for success- does guidelines (setting a bed time, move by 3pm, 5-7 fruits and veggies a day) feel liberating or constricting?  Take a workshop or course about happiness and develop your happiness skill set. Go to EMPOWER Courses  Get a coach to help support you.  Lastly, what can you do today? Right at this moment to get started? Maybe it is writing down your commitment to the concept of Arete and reaching your full potential. Or it could be listing 3 things you are grateful for and why or taking five big deep belly breaths and releasing each breath with a smile. Whatever it is take a moment right now to do it. I am also here to support you. Please send me an email noting what steps you are going to take today to info@empowerpossible.com. The photo above is from a presentation I delivered at the MidWest Health Promotion Conference last year when I still worked at the College of St. Scholastica.  Something that helps me reach my full potential is delivering conference presentations. I used to despise public speaking. I even determined which grad school to attend based on schools that had non-teaching graduate assistantships. If I had to speak in public/teach that school was off the list. I since have overcome my fear of public speaking and it is something that I can find some joy in.  In order for me to overcome my fear I focus on the benefits that will result from doing what I am afraid of. I think about how my audience will benefit from what I have to share and that the audience is there because they are interested in what I have to say and want me to succeed and deliver a good presentation. This is an example of an activity that makes me happy but is also a lot of work. **Disclaimer - I do believe happiness in the context of arete is achievable for everyone and I would like to acknowledge mental health is on a spectrum ranging from clinical diagnosis to no clinical symptoms. Mental health is also different from mental well-being. Mental well-being is also on a spectrum from unwell to well. All of us fall somewhere on both spectrums and where we fall on the spectrum changes. Where we fall on the spectrum will affect us and our ability to achieve arete. Please do not be hard on yourself if arete does not come easily to you. You may need to focus on other areas of your well-being and mental health before focusing on arete.  Take care this week and always. Thank you for your readership! Together we can regenerate our world, Julie

The Choice Is Mine  By Abimbola T. Alabi I've had my share of troubles in life, though not as much as some have had. But I've discovered that happiness - or a lack of it - never really comes from my friends or foes. Although they do influence it, it's really up to me. Happiness Poem Life may not let me choose my lot, But whether I'd be happy or not... That is my choice. To leave hurtful memories behind Or allow them to bother my mind... The choice is mine. To fret over a mistake when it's done Or learn from it and move on... The choice is mine. To be bothered by all that people say Or ignore them and go my own way... The choice is mine. To hide my feelings, pent up, unspoken, Or say my mind and ease the burden... The choice is mine. To enjoy what I've been able to gain Or ungratefully regard it with disdain... The choice is mine. Sometimes I won't get to pick my lot, But whether I'll be happy or not Will always be my choice. Click to review EMPOWER Possible Free Resources

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Lessons from Lucy

 

December 5, 2022 Regenerate Your World  Build the future you want to live in. I know these times aren't the easiest for all of us, but I am an optimist - I see the glass as half-full, instead of half-empty. To brighten up your days, I publish the Regenerate Your World newsletter coming to your inbox on a bi-weekly basis. Let's Get Empowered! Lessons from Lucy Greetings readers! A few weeks ago I dog-sat for a friend.  I have never owned a dog but have dog-sat for friends and family and volunteered for several years at an animal shelter. All that to say I have been around a lot of dogs in the past and have always appreciated their free-spirited nature.  This time was different than my past dog-sitting experiences as it was for 12 days and I was also house-sitting. This meant a fully immersive experience!  After a few days of dog-sitting Lucy, I got into a routine. I noticed a few things that made me think about how I am living my life. I found Lucy knows a thing or two about living life to the fullest.  Her energy and exuberance started to rub off on me. I tend to hold back from expressing my full emotions and think about life in general as to-do items on my checklist. I like the order this provides however it means I can miss out on significant moments because I am focused on preparing for what is next on my checklist. Like many things in nature, dogs don’t operate on a checklist system. For the most part, the life of a typical dog isn’t complicated but it is joyful. Something, we as humans sometimes miss. Therefore we should pay attention to the way dogs guide us through life by living a joyful life.  Below are the 5 lessons from Lucy we can use as our guide. Just to make all our lives a little bit more light-hearted and fun. 1) Play! Run! Walk! Jump! Lucy is 14 years old and still acts like a puppy. She is young at heart and activity also keeps her heart young. Every day no matter the weather (in Duluth that means freezing temps!) we went for a walk outside. Sometimes it was a short walk around the block other times it was a long hike in the woods. What mattered is we got outside to play and walk. According to the Mayo Clinic, adding walking into your everyday routine can help you prevent heart disease and improve your mood. Walking with your dog (or a friend’s dog) is one of the many ways dogs help us stay healthy. 2) Communicate your needs. Lucy always let me know when she wanted to go outside, when she wanted to cuddle, and when she wanted to eat. She would nuzzle me or bark when she needed something. How many times have you found yourself thinking, “why haven’t they (fill in the blank)? about another person. Maybe it is because that person can’t read your mind and know your needs. I am guilty of this, many times I have thought “they should know by now that I don’t like this or that or that I like to do this or that”. I don’t say anything and I pretend everything is fine but then I am resentful that the person isn’t doing what I want them to do. Then my resentment comes out later when it has built up over time. I am working on sharing my needs in the moment and practicing letting go of unrealistic expectations. Lucy knew how to share her needs in the best way she could. We all need to think about how can we share our needs in the best way we can in order to improve our relationships. Communicating what you really need can help clear up misunderstandings and help avoid hurt feelings. 3) Lucy taught me about Love. Lucy saw me at my best moments and my lowest moments. Your dog knows you at your best and at your worst. Tough times can be what leads to growth. We all can learn to be patient with friends (and ourselves) through rough patches. We can learn to provide our loved ones with support in their moments of need and dogs remind us that everyone deserves to be loved as they love without conditions. 4) Listen to your body. Lucy was great at this! She slept when she needed to. Played when she needed to. Moved when she needed to. She drank water when she needed to. I know we can’t always do what we need to at the moment however we can try to structure our day to allow for more flexibility. Think about how much time you might spend doing things you really don’t have to do. If you spend a few minutes thinking about how you spend your time and prioritize what matters most you will be amazed at what you can do. It is not easy to take a look at how you spend your time and then prioritize what is most important but it is worth it.  5) Find joy in the “small” things. Lucy would get so excited about her toys, her food, going outside, and seeing me in the morning. Her tall would be wagging and she would jump in the air. So often we are waiting for the next vacation, the new car, the better job to find the joy- there is joy all around us, so take a moment or two to appreciate it! Today I am finding joy in writing this newsletter while sipping a wonderful cup of tea and watching the snow gently fall to the ground. What joy are you finding today?  In case you missed it last week, I will share a gratitude meditation-its free! It will help you find joy.    https://www.empowerpossible.com/p/loving-kindness-meditation-free-video1 P.S. This newsletter is for you, please share what you would like to learn and what topics YOU would like to read about in the newsletter. Please send me an email, at info@empowerpossible.com I would LOVE to hear from you. P.P.S.  I am working on a project and collecting stories about job loss or the loss of a dream. My hope is to gather stories in order to learn from them and develop an online course or book that will help others going through losing a job or those who are learning how to let go of a dream. Thank you as always for your readership! Together we can regenerate our world, Julie Me and Lucy Lucky Dog Excerpt from Joan Oen's essay, Lucky Dog featured in the 2014 publication Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Dog Did What? ...He scratched Sammy behind the ears and confessed, “I couldn’t have made it through these past months without him.” He explained that Sammy was the one who was always there for him during my absence. It was our dog who helped my anxious husband sleep by filling my empty spot on the bed. It was our dog who raised Shawn’s spirits with his infectious playfulness and constant ploys for attention. Thanks to our dog, Shawn didn’t have to come home from work to an empty, lonely house. Instead, Sammy was always there to greet him by running around in circles of frenzied excitement and jumping on Shawn’s legs until he knelt to receive a series of doggy kisses. Sammy would even lick Shawn’s tears when he cried. “Come on Mr. Floppy Ears, let’s go upstairs with Mommy!” my husband cooed in baby talk to Sammy as we carried my Army duffle bags upstairs. I smiled. Observing the loving bond between Sammy and my husband comforted me. The previous fall I had impulsively bought a friendly grey puppy because I knew I was a dog person. Now, it was very clear my husband was a dog person, too. When the time came to return to Iraq for the last half of my deployment, the drive to the airport was once again, accompanied by tears. However, this time, my anxiety over my husband’s welfare was absent. I knew my husband would be okay; he had Sammy. He was one lucky dog!  Upcoming Events What: MasterClass Group Where: Virtual Meeting When: Saturday December 10th, 9am-10am  Why: Maximize learning integration in a community of lifelong learners who also support gender equity.  Cost: Free! Click here to register What: THRIVE: Overcome Burnout Duluth, MN Community Education Class Registration opens January 2023  When: February 2023 Why: Participants will learn the signs of burnout and how to overcome and prevent burnout. Cost: $29.00 What: University of Wisconsin-Superior Coffee Break Course: EMPOWER YOUR NEW YEAR Where: Virtual When: Register to view anytime throughout December 2022 Why: The New Year is often a time for new goals and a fresh start. However, most of us abandon these goals in a few weeks. This session will help participants empower their new year and set a vision for the year to overcome barriers to reaching their goals.  Cost: Free! Click here to register In other news, EMPOWER Possible is on Facebook! For motivational quotes and inspiration go to : Empower Possible Facebook  and follow EMPOWER Possible.

M. stands for Meaning

 

November 7th, 2022 Regenerate Your World  Build the future you want to live in. I know these times aren't the easiest for all of us, but I am an optimist - I see the glass as half-full, instead of half-empty. To brighten up your days, I publish the Regenerate Your World newsletter coming to your inbox on a bi-weekly basis. Let's Get Empowered! M. stands for Meaning Greetings readers! It is hard to believe November has arrived. I don't know about you but for me, this year has flown by. When I think about how fast time flies it makes me want to make the most out of every moment and take meaning from every experience. That is why in this newsletter I would like to share more about meaning and how it relates to EMPOWER Possible.  Every letter of "EMPOWER" in the name of the business EMPOWER Possible, LLC stands for something. EMPOWER is an acronym. E=Engage, M=Meaning, P=People, O=Organization, W=Well-being, E=Empathy, R=Regenerate. All the letters combined are part of a journey of empowerment. This week's newsletter is dedicated to the letter "M" in order to provide a better understanding of the importance of meaning in our lives.  My hope is to engage members of the EMPOWER Possible community in this work so we all can thrive.  In "Man’s Search for Meaning" Viktor Frankl provides a valuable perspective on meaning.  In his book, he shares his experience of arriving in Nazi Germany at a concentration camp. As a description of the book states, Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl's memoir has riveted generations of readers with its descriptions of life in Nazi death camps and its lessons for spiritual survival. Between 1942 and 1945 Frankl labored in four different camps, including Auschwitz, while his parents, brother, and pregnant wife perished. Based on his own experience and the experiences of others he treated later in his practice, Frankl argues that we cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose. Frankl's theory-known as logotherapy, from the Greek word logos ("meaning")-holds that our “primary drive in life is not pleasure, as Freud maintained, but the discovery and pursuit of what we personally find meaningful.”   In a sentence, Viktor Frankl shares that pain is inevitable but suffering is not. Viktor Frankl suggests instead of asking, “What is the meaning of my life?,” we need to ask: “What is life asking of me?”.  I am going to ask you, what is life asking of you? By zooming out and asking, “What is life asking of me?” we connect ourselves with the outside world. Frankl suggests you are the only one that discovers the meaning in your life. It is a personal journey-no one else can tell you what it is and it may be more than one thing. More important, finding meaning in your life is greater than who you are—it’s whatever life is asking of you.  Maybe we aren’t pleased with some of the conditions of our life then we can ask the question, how can we own our sense of meaning in those circumstances? How can we transform suffering into meaning? How can we face our lives with bravery and courage and create meaning out of them? When Frankl was asked to share the meaning of his own life in one sentence, he wrote it on a piece of paper and then asked the students to guess. One student raised their hand and said, “The meaning of your life is to help others find the meaning of theirs.” And Frankl replied, “That was it, exactly. Those are the very words I had written.” I have found Frankl's work inspiring and I hope you do as well. When sharing information about meaning I always like to include worksheets to help explore our own sense of meaning and purpose. I have found it helpful to start with our own identity when exploring meaning in our lives. I have included a link to a worksheet that explored identity. It is linked below. The purpose of the worksheet activity is to: Identify various factors that contribute to your identity it will take about 10 to 15 minutes to complete. The worksheet helps you to think about "Who am I?”, this is a question we all ask at some time in our lives. As we search for answers we begin to define ourselves. How do our identities inform our values, ideas, and actions?  Once you ponder and explore these questions, we can get a big-picture look at who we really are, what matters to us, and what provides a sense of meaning in our lives, This activity will help you reflect on the question: Are you using your gifts on things you really care about in environments that really fit? And therefore are you creating meaning in your life?  **Scroll to the end of the newsletter for upcoming EMPOWER Possible events and more information about EMPOWER Possible courses including the Meaning mini-course. Cheers to the journey!  Draw Your Identity Worksheet  As I mentioned M. stands for Meaning in the EMPOWER model and each is linked to a course with EMPOWER Possible. If you find this interesting you will most likely find the course interesting. One student , J Keuten, shared. "I think it is so important to know who we are and what is important to us. This was a good refresher for me to think critically about what I want and what has the most meaning in my life. When I wake up everyday I try to remember to tell myself that today is going to be a great day and I am thankful for what I have. The older I become, the less I want (material things). However, at the same time, the older I become, the higher expectation I have. " I'm in! Sign me up for the mini course! “Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.” ― Nietzsche, as quoted by Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning Thank you for your readership! Together we can regenerate our world, Julie Upcoming Events What: MasterClass Group Where: Virtual Meeting When: Saturday December 10th, 9am-10am  Why: Maximize learning integration in a community of lifelong learners who also support gender equity.  Cost: Free! Click here to register What: THRIVE: Overcome Burnout Duluth, MN Community Education Class Registration opens January 2023  When: February 2023 Why: Participants will learn the signs of burnout and how to overcome and prevent burnout. Cost: $29.00 Registration opens January 2023 What: University of Wisconsin-Superior Coffee Break Course Where: Virtual When: December- Registration coming soon! Why: Burnout is not inevitable. Learn to recognize signs and symptoms of burnout Identify the root causes of burnout Create at least one personal action to prevent burnout in your own life.  Examine how values influence choices and behaviors in order to prevent burnout. Cost: Free! In other news, EMPOWER Possible is on Facebook! For motivational quotes and inspiration go to : Empower Possible Facebook  and follow EMPOWER Possible.