The Power of Bold Requests |
Dear Empowered Reader,
In this newsletter, I invited Linda Brandt—a passionate community builder and advocate for underrepresented voices—to share her story on the power of bold requests. We first met over a decade ago at a health promotion conference, where we discovered not only our shared habit of working on our feet but also our similar philosophies on leadership and community-building. Linda has dedicated her career to fostering inclusive communities where connection and collaboration are key. Here, she takes us back to a life-changing moment in 2013, when an ambitious idea led her to an unexpected meeting with Sheryl Sandberg, then COO of Facebook and author of Lean In. Through Linda’s reflections, we see how the simple act of asking—even when it feels intimidating—can open doors to deeper relationships, ongoing mentorship, and new possibilities.
Linda’s story encourages us to think about the people in our own lives who support our goals and how we can nurture these relationships by asking for the help we need, no matter how bold. As Linda demonstrates, our “genies” may be closer than we think, ready to grant our wishes if only we dare to ask. What follows is Linda's story.
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Sheryl and Linda at Fort Snelling Officer’s Club women’s restroom |
The Power of Bold Requests
In the fall of 2013, after a series of twists and turns, I was stunned to learn that then Facebook COO and Lean In author Sheryl Sandberg was coming to my home to meet with my Lean In circle. What was once a wild idea I had thrown out while researching meeting locations was now going to happen. To give you a sense of the magnitude of this personal earthquake, I called no fewer than 100 people to share this news. I even stopped by a coffee shop to tell one friend in-person. One Lean In leader cried upon hearing the news.
When I shared the news with my friend Alexis, he offered advice that has stayed with me. He said, “Meeting Sheryl is like meeting a genie. She can grant your wishes if she wants to, so you better have them ready.”
Holy cow. I could immediately tell that Alexis’ advice was solid and useful. It helped that I knew Alexis had taken big risks himself. That said, his advice was a lot for me to process. Like many people who join Lean In, I am often “leaning in to leaning in.” Knowing what I truly want to lean in to doesn’t come easily for me, especially when the stakes feel high. I know I am not alone in this. In my experience it’s harder to know and express your needs, much less your wants, when you have internalized low expectations and scarcity. Sheryl Sandberg calls this “the tyranny of low expectations.”
My initial reaction to Alexis’ advice was, “What could I possibly ask Sheryl for?” Building the Lean In Together MSP community was already a dream come true. Becoming a Lean In leader had already significantly expanded my world, including this opportunity to meet a woman I greatly admired. “Why would I ask for more? Shouldn’t that be enough?” When I look inside myself, I see that this difficulty in wanting more originates in old feelings of heartbreak. It was heartbreaking to grow up wondering if my basic needs were going to be met. It was also equally heartbreaking to know that there were people who had more than enough and yet ignored others’ unmet needs.*
All this to say, Alexis’ counsel to “have my wishes ready” was a tall order. Talking to Sheryl required skills that were outside my comfort zone and my socialization as a female.
Fortunately, I’ve learned to rely on trusted friends and advisors when I am outside my depth. One of those trusted people is Evelyn, a former house cleaner living in Grand Forks, North Dakota. Evelyn helped me realize that the best thing to ask a genie for is more wishes.
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Asking for more wishes meant building an ongoing relationship with Sheryl. Thus, soon after her visit to my home, I started sending her updates on the Lean In Together Minneapolis - St. Paul Network. I continue to send those updates to this day, 11 years later.
Coming up to the present day, in my latest update to Sheryl I let her know that I will be in the San Francisco Bay area, where she lives, for much of November and December. Sheryl emailed me back that she would love to see me. I was over the moon since this would be our first one-on-one meeting not associated with a Lean In Network leaders event. The joy I felt upon receiving Sheryl's message is captured in the watercolor I drew.
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Linda with one of her paintings. |
Before I lost my courage, I quickly responded to Sheryl’s invitation by asking, “Is it too bold to request a ‘walk and talk’ meeting?” I am now having my walk-and-talk with Sheryl on Monday, December 16. Will I have my wishes ready by then? Yes! Am I hoping she has wishes to ask of me as well? Of course. My main wish is still for more wishes. Ideally, this be the first of many walks as we continue to support each other in the years ahead.
If you are wondering how this story might help you in your own life journey, I like how you think. My advice is to make a list of the people who want to support you in going after your dreams and goals. The people on this list are your genies. What bold requests might you make of them? What habits or structures could you put in place, or re-commit to, to keep your genies close in our fast-moving world? For example, might recurring calendar meetings help you stay in touch? |
Watercolor Linda painted. |
Building relationships with the people who want to help you thrive is such a great way to invest in yourself. Specifically, I encourage you to find fun ways to support, appreciate and update the genies in your life. I suspect you find, like I have, that leaning into the discomfort and asking your genies for help will make your relationship even stronger.
Right from the start in 2013 we called our Network Lean In Together Minneapolis- St. Paul because we know going after your dreams and goals is way more fun with company.
I’d love to hear from you. In particular, I’d love to hear what bold actions you are taking or considering taking. You can find me on LinkedIn or at lindabrandtmph@gmail.com
* I am grateful to Jo Saunders for teaching me that greed has two elements: taking more than you need and being indifferent to the needs of others. I find this definition so useful that I dream of one day putting it on a billboard.
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As you just read Linda's story. I would like to share more about Linda. Linda Brandt is a community builder who empowers underrepresented leaders. She’s passionate about fostering connection, collaboration, and innovation. She’s eager to share her experiences in creating inclusive and engaging communities. In her journey from a bold request to an enduring relationship with Sheryl Sandberg, Linda shows us that bold asks are not just about taking risks—they’re about honoring the people who want to see us thrive. By leaning into the discomfort of asking for what we truly need, Linda reminds us that we can build meaningful connections with our own “genies.”
Reflecting on Linda’s story, I’m reminded of the importance of fostering strong, supportive relationships in both personal and professional spheres. Making these connections a priority is not always easy, but as Linda shows, it’s a worthwhile investment in our personal growth.
So take a moment to think about the bold requests you could make and the people who are willing to support you along the way.
Like Linda, you may find that asking for support and guidance opens doors you hadn’t imagined.
Take care, dear reader, Julie |
Lean In by Ana Maria Santuario |
When you are all alone in suffering, Lean into yourself.
Know this too shall pass… And lean into it all.
For it is by walking through the darkest of days,
That you’re returned to the light within your own self. There is no other way to navigate a storm when you are its eye You must simply weather it, and pray for safe passage through.
When you are alone, be alone,
And know that this too shall pass.
© Santuario, Ana Maria (2024). Mirror, Mirror, Collection 1. Faith in Change Publishing, London. |
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